(Arthur Conan Doyle meets Chuck Palahniuk)

Pár nappal ezelőtt whoisnotnál olvastam azt a remek stílusgyakorlatot, ahol Raymond Carver stílusában gondolta újra a Drakula egyik jelenetét (itt megtalálható). Amikor megtudtam, hogy ez a boingboing éppen futó kiírása, ahol egy ismert mű egy jelenetét kell egy másik ismert szerző stílusában újraírni, éreztem, hogy ezt ki kell próbálni (ha már kortárs magyar író és költő is voltam egyszer), és nem a győzelem, hanem a részvétel kedvért: a mezőny nagyon erős, rengeteg kiváló remix született, érdemes végignézni. Itt az eredeti kiírás és a kommentek. Ez meg a pályaművem:

The Scarlet Club

(The Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle rewritten in the style of Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club)

Smiling, nodding, my friend Stamford leads me into the laboratory. I’m not even surprised that there are laboratories in the bowels of these hospitals.

I’m a doctor.

London is foggy and the sky looks sick and brown. Stamford is not really my friend. I was in the war and I’ve just returned to London. I have nobody in England, and I am as free as air. I’m also thin as a lath and as brown as a nut. I’m a doctor who is in need of lodgings. I also have scars. It’s good that we are in a hospital.

This is a lofty chamber, lined and littered with countless bottles.

Broad, low tables. Retorts. Test-tubes.

Little Bunsen lamps.

Their blue flickering flames.

The smell hurts my head.

There is only one student in the room. He hears us and springs to his feet with a cry of pleasure, test-tube in his hand. I have found a re-agent, he says.

This is Doctor Watson, Stamford says.

I stare. Little Bunsen lamps. Their blue flickering flames.

The man in the lab coat says, “You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive.”

He says, “Don’t ask anything now.”

He says, “The question now is about hemoglobin.”

Neither of us blinks. He tells us about blood and practical medico-legal discoveries. I want to tell him about blood. I was in the war.

You wake up in Afghanistan. You are going to bring home honours and promotion.

You wake up in London and you have nothing but misfortune and disaster.

I tell him I’m impressed.

The man in the lab coat holds out his hand as he speaks and I notice that it is all mottled over with pieces of plaster, and discoloured with strong acids. I wonder if he did this to himself on purpose.

His eyes fairly glitter as he speaks. He puts his hand over his heart and bows as if to some applauding crowd.

I like him. But I’m lost inside.

I’m a doctor. My name is Watson. I was in the war.

He plays the violin. I don’t care.

He says, "I think we may consider the thing as settled. That is, if the rooms are agreeable to you."

I say yes. I wonder how he knew about Afghanistan. But I don’t ask. My head hurts so much. We leave him working among his chemicals.

This is how I met Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

Forrás:
Az eredeti Study in Scarlet (az átírt rész az 5. oldal közepétől kezdődik)